Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives
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List Price: $16.95
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Manufacturer: Harper & Row
Written By: Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, J. Keith Miller
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.86
EAN: 9780062505897
ISBN: 0062505890
Label: Harper & Row
Manufacturer: Harper & Row
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 222
Publication Date: 1989-06-14
Publisher: Harper & Row
Release Date: 1989-05-17
Studio: Harper & Row
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Editorial Reviews for Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives
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A brilliant new guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery by a nationally recognized authority on dependency and addiction. In this fresh new look at codependence, Pia Mellody traces the origins of this illness back to childhood, describing a whole range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Because of these earlier experiences, codependent adults often lack the skills necessary to lead mature lives and have satisfying relationships. Recovery from codependence comes from clearing up the toxic feelings left over from childhood and learning to reparent oneself by intervening on the adult symptoms of codependence. Central to Mellody's concept is the idea of the "precious child" that needs healing within each adult. She creates a framework for identifying codependent behavior and describes an effective approach to recovery that includes both therapy and self-help processes. Designed to be used with her new workbook for codependents, Breaking Free, this is a powerful tool for understanding the nature of codependence.
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Consumer reviews:
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Customer Rating: 
Summary: Book came just as described. Thanks.
Comment: This is one of the best books on codependence. Read it and your life will change.
Customer Rating:
Summary: The Best Book on Co-dependence There Is Barre None!
Comment: This is the best book on Co-dependence I have ever read. And I have read a few. And Pia Melody does it without any put downs. Co-Dependence is not something you can choose or not choose to do. It is a result of things that have been done to you. And you cannot begin to conquer it until you fully understand what happened to you. This Pia Melody does with such insight and understanding solely because she lived it. If you or someone you know is dealing with co-dependency (and most of us are) do them a favor and tell them to get this book!
Customer Rating:
Summary: A Classic
Comment: Mellody and her coauthors, to the enduring benefit of the practice of psychology, do their part to rescue the technique of digging through the past from its Freudian fixation on Oedipus.
Using a working definition of childhood "abuse" as any behavior by caregivers that is "less than nurturing," she relentlessly and in gruesome detail disects the roots of dysfunctional adulthood dependencies.
I agree with the reviewer who complained that the term "codependence" has become too much of a catch-all. Having a prefix indicating "two," that word is better reserved for particular kinds of dysfunctional relationships.
That said, this book succeeds brilliantly at its task. Which is to allow individual readers to face up to exactly where the unhealthy dependencies in our lives come from. Which in adulthood result, not just in codependent (instead of "interdependent") relationships, but in a myriad of perplexing issues that sabotage our lives.
A classic from the pioneer who originated the concept of "boundaries" in psychology. Get ready to embrace your demons.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Awesome.
Comment: I have read a dozen books on the subject. For me, this was the first semi-clinical book which explored how codependency is not only behavior inherited but can also be passed on down to the next generation, even coming from a parent with the best intentions completely unaware of the problem. The author has a deep awareness of the problem's subtleties and this is certainly one of the pioneer books that should be in every library concerning codependency.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Parenting (and Re-Parenting) 101
Comment: In what may be one of the best books ever on functional parenting, Mellody and the Millers have tackled the single most common psychiatric phenomenon of our time, deconstructed it into language most can grasp, and set forth a means of re-parenting those who didn't get the real deal the first time around.
For mental health professionals, this may also be one of the best books available for patient (with sufficient ego strength) and/or family education on Kernberg / Preston Level One and Two Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as for family education with regard to pretty much the entire spectrum of borderline, narcissistic, passive-aggressive and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders.
I have read at least a dozen lay and professional books addressing the topic of "codependence." While Melody Beattie's and Patricia Evan's work, and the -Codependents Anonymous- and new -Adult Children of Alcoholics- "big books" -are- terrific stuff, this looks like the most accessible, research-grounded, well-organized and tool-delivering of the lot. (Anyone seriously set upon recovering from boundary difficulties with others is well-advised to just read them all, of course.)
Owing to the input of the Millers, -Facing Codependence- is more a product of modern "patient education" or "psychoeducation" theory (see Rankin's and Stallings's -Patient Education- or any of the books in the "Compact Clinicals" series) than the other books currently available. This is not the hodgepodge of useful data developed by committee in the two afforementioned 12 Step groups, and is more functionally set forth in the fashion of Lev Vygotsky's "scaffolding" than Beattie's more famous or Evans's more narrowly targeted books.
Beyond that, the progressive, level-upon-level organization of the book and concrete examples of both functional and dysfunctional parenting make it hands-down one of the finest guides to raising effective, pathology-free children ever published. If it were up to me, this would be required reading at the college freshman level.
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